It is unbelievable how things can change your life. I had a near death experience and although it was scary it was only the beginning of the changes that were to come.
Someone I love dearly is not well. It was a huge wake up call for me to make some major life changes in order to accomodate their needs.
I have learned that living in what is happening right now is all there really is. As soon as you project into the future you create problems that don't exist yet. When you then reach that moment in time, you have set the scene for the problem to exist.
Others, are generally living in their own world, projecting negativity onto others to cover up for the fact that they are not happy with their own life or current circumstances.
Why do we torture ourselves and others around us? Does making someone else's life more difficult really make yourself feel better?
If we live in the moment and focus on what's infront of us then we can do no wrong. Our minds are not cluttered with what already happened and what is possibly going to happen. Focus on RIGHT NOW!!
Monday, October 26, 2009
Monday, June 22, 2009
A Small Rant
Ok, so here is the most recent rant for my life.
Saturday it was pouring rain all day so we decided to head out to the stores to use up some time. I was looking at the tv shows on DVD. I was looking for The Gilmore Girls Season 2. We walk into Best Buy and it's &35.99. I was thinking to myself maybe I can find it for less somewhere else.
Today I head out to 2 or 3 differnt stores to comparison shop. It's less at Walmart but they don't have any in stock. I head back to Best Buy because I figure the price difference is not too much and I know they have it in stock.
I go into the store as they are opening this morning and the exact same season 2 dvd set is now &54.99!!!!!!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME????
The price was jacked up 20 dollars in less than 48 hours!!! Completely ridiculous!!!!
I will not give my business to them anymore because of these antics that take advantage of shoppers!
Saturday it was pouring rain all day so we decided to head out to the stores to use up some time. I was looking at the tv shows on DVD. I was looking for The Gilmore Girls Season 2. We walk into Best Buy and it's &35.99. I was thinking to myself maybe I can find it for less somewhere else.
Today I head out to 2 or 3 differnt stores to comparison shop. It's less at Walmart but they don't have any in stock. I head back to Best Buy because I figure the price difference is not too much and I know they have it in stock.
I go into the store as they are opening this morning and the exact same season 2 dvd set is now &54.99!!!!!!! ARE YOU KIDDING ME????
The price was jacked up 20 dollars in less than 48 hours!!! Completely ridiculous!!!!
I will not give my business to them anymore because of these antics that take advantage of shoppers!
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
New Jobs
I can't believe the expectations that others place on someone in a new job. I started a new job recently and was expected to know the whole routine, what to do and jump in with both feet right out of the gate. Luckily I have some experience that it wasn't too daunting however when you are somewhere new you have no idea what to expect and how to do what needs to be done. It also doesn't help to be told that you are late when you clearly were not.
People can only go in and do the best they can with what they have. To put more expectations on anyone is ridiculous. It is a learning lesson for everyone out there. If you are in charge, give someone the benefit of the doubt and show them around a bit. Don't expect them to jump in right away and don't give them the most difficult situation on their first day. Talk about setting someone up for failure. As for the employee, do your best and that's all you can do. Remember, it's not your problem, it's theirs!!!!
People can only go in and do the best they can with what they have. To put more expectations on anyone is ridiculous. It is a learning lesson for everyone out there. If you are in charge, give someone the benefit of the doubt and show them around a bit. Don't expect them to jump in right away and don't give them the most difficult situation on their first day. Talk about setting someone up for failure. As for the employee, do your best and that's all you can do. Remember, it's not your problem, it's theirs!!!!
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Fear
Many of us struggle with fears. Whether they be big or small, important or insignificant. Some fear things. My youngest son is deathly afraid of spider webs. Give him a spider to play with and he's good. But put a web near him and he is frozen, petrified.
My biggest fears are of the unknown, what other's think of me and being accepted. Some may say that these are petty things and I should just get over it.
Take the unknown. It's been my experience that when I'm faced with something unknown it's a million times worse to me in my hear before it happens then when it's over and I realize that it really wasn't a big deal.
As for what other's think of me, this only bothers me on a professional level. My youngest son is disabled and I can't take him anywhere without someone staring or offering me advice that isn't needed or wanted. That doesn't bother me because really it's their problem not mine. I know why he reacts the way he does and it's not anyone's business as to why he does anything. On a professional level I pride myself on doing a good job and I have letters of reference and many people who stand behind my work. However anytime I have to start somewhere new and these people don't know me it becomes a 'I'm a great person and I'll prove it to you' all over again. I really should embrace this as a challenge rather than a hinderance.
As for being accepted I have this insecurity because we often don't tell others how much we like them or how much we value having them in our lives. If we all had time to reflect we would see what is really important and who is important. Maybe then we would feel more accepted.
The bottom line is BE YOURSELF and don't take the baggage of others, personally!!!
Fear can be embraced if we chose to see it as an ally instead of a foe!
My biggest fears are of the unknown, what other's think of me and being accepted. Some may say that these are petty things and I should just get over it.
Take the unknown. It's been my experience that when I'm faced with something unknown it's a million times worse to me in my hear before it happens then when it's over and I realize that it really wasn't a big deal.
As for what other's think of me, this only bothers me on a professional level. My youngest son is disabled and I can't take him anywhere without someone staring or offering me advice that isn't needed or wanted. That doesn't bother me because really it's their problem not mine. I know why he reacts the way he does and it's not anyone's business as to why he does anything. On a professional level I pride myself on doing a good job and I have letters of reference and many people who stand behind my work. However anytime I have to start somewhere new and these people don't know me it becomes a 'I'm a great person and I'll prove it to you' all over again. I really should embrace this as a challenge rather than a hinderance.
As for being accepted I have this insecurity because we often don't tell others how much we like them or how much we value having them in our lives. If we all had time to reflect we would see what is really important and who is important. Maybe then we would feel more accepted.
The bottom line is BE YOURSELF and don't take the baggage of others, personally!!!
Fear can be embraced if we chose to see it as an ally instead of a foe!
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Basketballs
So...every morning I walk my kids up to the corner to catch the school bus. This morning my son is playing with another boy and they are tossing the basketball back and forth on the sidewalk. Sitting at the curb is a town bus waiting to pick up a group of high school kids. The bus leaves the corner and somehow the basketball goes under the bus.
I turn to the kid and say don't worry it will come out on the other side. WRONG! the ball get wedged under the bus and it bursts!! The sound from the explosion sounded like a gun going off.
The bus turns the corner and stops. the little boy goes up to the driver and tells him that is was his ball and not the tire that blew. The little boy comes back to the corner crying over his broken ball.
I never knew that a ball could burst like that. Luckily no one got hurt.
I turn to the kid and say don't worry it will come out on the other side. WRONG! the ball get wedged under the bus and it bursts!! The sound from the explosion sounded like a gun going off.
The bus turns the corner and stops. the little boy goes up to the driver and tells him that is was his ball and not the tire that blew. The little boy comes back to the corner crying over his broken ball.
I never knew that a ball could burst like that. Luckily no one got hurt.
Friday, May 1, 2009
Bullies and Lessons Learned
This week I had a major flashback to when I was in highschool. I had a small group of friends that I didn't entirely trust and I kept to myself. High school for me was something to be endured for four years until I could get on with my real life.
I was persistently bullied in high school and I never told anyone. I was scared that if I told I would make the situation worse for myself. It was easier at that time to suffer in silence rather than bring it to light. Looking back I could not have been more wrong. As a young adolescent I wanted to not be noticed. I drown myself in books and watching tv every night rather than getting out there and seeing what life has to offer. When I finished school I could finally get on with my life. It wasn't until years later, I was educated and had a successful career, that I saw my bully in my local shopping mall. She definitely didn't look like she was doing too much with her life and I was able to move on and forget.
This week a phone call came from the school that my son was in the office and very upset. Someone was threatening and bullying him. If you knew my son you would cry your heart out in knowing that he would never hurt a fly, and has the kindest heart imaginable. It certainly broke my heart to hear about what had happened.
What I did feel though after the rage, anger and hurt was an overwhelming sense of pride. My son reported the bully immediately and the issue was sorted and resolved. For him this was an important step in becoming a great young man. He doesn't have to endure it.
Sometimes we suffer and at the time, in the moment, we have no idea why. Perhaps I was meant to suffer in silence so that when I became a mom I would know to teach my kids to speak up for themselves. I've also taught my kids to have an open dialogue with me about ANYTHING. I can't stress that enough to my kids.
No one has the right to put down anyone else for any reason!
I was persistently bullied in high school and I never told anyone. I was scared that if I told I would make the situation worse for myself. It was easier at that time to suffer in silence rather than bring it to light. Looking back I could not have been more wrong. As a young adolescent I wanted to not be noticed. I drown myself in books and watching tv every night rather than getting out there and seeing what life has to offer. When I finished school I could finally get on with my life. It wasn't until years later, I was educated and had a successful career, that I saw my bully in my local shopping mall. She definitely didn't look like she was doing too much with her life and I was able to move on and forget.
This week a phone call came from the school that my son was in the office and very upset. Someone was threatening and bullying him. If you knew my son you would cry your heart out in knowing that he would never hurt a fly, and has the kindest heart imaginable. It certainly broke my heart to hear about what had happened.
What I did feel though after the rage, anger and hurt was an overwhelming sense of pride. My son reported the bully immediately and the issue was sorted and resolved. For him this was an important step in becoming a great young man. He doesn't have to endure it.
Sometimes we suffer and at the time, in the moment, we have no idea why. Perhaps I was meant to suffer in silence so that when I became a mom I would know to teach my kids to speak up for themselves. I've also taught my kids to have an open dialogue with me about ANYTHING. I can't stress that enough to my kids.
No one has the right to put down anyone else for any reason!
Monday, April 20, 2009
The Renaissance Soul
I have just finished reading The Renaissance Soul by Margaret Lobenstine. What a fabulous book.
For over a decade I had a career that in the beginning seemed exceptional. I enjoyed it immensely in the first few years and threw myself into the job 150%. After the first five years I felt comfortable in my new but slightly worn shoes. I was no longer the rookie on the job but not quite the seasoned veteran.
Soon after children entered my life. I became a mom and now threw myself into motherhood. Juggling motherhood and a full time career was challenging.
The career began to show fractures and things that seemed ok on the surface were really not right underneath. It took me a few more years to come up with the hard decision to leave my original career and chase after what I really want.
Enter, The Renaissance Soul. This book I came across while doing some searching for career changes. Did I stumble onto it or was I meant to find it?
I have since finished reading the book, quit my job and become a stay at home mom. Right now my sons need me.
I am interviewing for a much more suitable job and much more rewarding. Times are exciting now. I have a plan!
A new career will allow me to pursue my other goals and dreams in life. After all there is more to life than chasing the almighty dollar!!
For over a decade I had a career that in the beginning seemed exceptional. I enjoyed it immensely in the first few years and threw myself into the job 150%. After the first five years I felt comfortable in my new but slightly worn shoes. I was no longer the rookie on the job but not quite the seasoned veteran.
Soon after children entered my life. I became a mom and now threw myself into motherhood. Juggling motherhood and a full time career was challenging.
The career began to show fractures and things that seemed ok on the surface were really not right underneath. It took me a few more years to come up with the hard decision to leave my original career and chase after what I really want.
Enter, The Renaissance Soul. This book I came across while doing some searching for career changes. Did I stumble onto it or was I meant to find it?
I have since finished reading the book, quit my job and become a stay at home mom. Right now my sons need me.
I am interviewing for a much more suitable job and much more rewarding. Times are exciting now. I have a plan!
A new career will allow me to pursue my other goals and dreams in life. After all there is more to life than chasing the almighty dollar!!
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Guilt!!
Why is it as a mom we carry around with us so much guilt?
I am struggling in my personal life right now by raising my son who has multiple disorders. I have left my job due to the enormous amount of stress that I have at home. It is a complete full time job looking after Justin. When he is home with me he is 24hr/7days a week care. And yes that even includes all night. He doesn't sleep well at the best of times and lately is up all night. We are involved in many community agencies and numerous doctors that even when he is at school I spend the bulk of the day doing things for him.
I believe that I am at a crossroads in my life to take care of him right now. If I put the time in now it will pay off in the end.
I have always worked. Why then now do I fell consumed with guilt? I feel that I should be a more productive member of society but how can I right now? Why should I feel guilt over something that is out of my control??
How can mom's learn to curb their guilt and move on and enjoy the life that is right in front of you?
I hope the answer will come to me soon!
I am struggling in my personal life right now by raising my son who has multiple disorders. I have left my job due to the enormous amount of stress that I have at home. It is a complete full time job looking after Justin. When he is home with me he is 24hr/7days a week care. And yes that even includes all night. He doesn't sleep well at the best of times and lately is up all night. We are involved in many community agencies and numerous doctors that even when he is at school I spend the bulk of the day doing things for him.
I believe that I am at a crossroads in my life to take care of him right now. If I put the time in now it will pay off in the end.
I have always worked. Why then now do I fell consumed with guilt? I feel that I should be a more productive member of society but how can I right now? Why should I feel guilt over something that is out of my control??
How can mom's learn to curb their guilt and move on and enjoy the life that is right in front of you?
I hope the answer will come to me soon!
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Satisfaction
I accomplished a goal today! It is greatly satisfying to cross something else off of my list.
A few months ago I began writing a book about my younger son who was recently diagnosed with multiple disorders. At times it was emotionally draining to write about him and all of the challenges that we face in our family life.
I shelfed the book and began immediately writing a children's chapter book about my two sons going on an adventure. My older son helped with ideas and the story was quickly born. It has helped me to see the humour in both of my children and been a great distraction for me.
Today I finished the book!!!!!!!!!! Yeah!! I will be printing it out soon and going over it since it is a rough draft.
It is deeply satisfying to finish a project that you've been working on for a while.
I hope someday I will be an inspiration to both of my children to help them see and fulfill all of their dreams!
A few months ago I began writing a book about my younger son who was recently diagnosed with multiple disorders. At times it was emotionally draining to write about him and all of the challenges that we face in our family life.
I shelfed the book and began immediately writing a children's chapter book about my two sons going on an adventure. My older son helped with ideas and the story was quickly born. It has helped me to see the humour in both of my children and been a great distraction for me.
Today I finished the book!!!!!!!!!! Yeah!! I will be printing it out soon and going over it since it is a rough draft.
It is deeply satisfying to finish a project that you've been working on for a while.
I hope someday I will be an inspiration to both of my children to help them see and fulfill all of their dreams!
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Meetings
I have attended many meetings in my lifetime. Some were for work, some for my children and some for interests and hobbies.
Last night I attended one of the worst ones yet. It was for a support group for parents. I have been to the meetings before and found them dry, not well planned and an opportunity for a select few to sit and 'gab' with each other and not even acknowledge any one else in the room, this included the moderator as well.
What is wrong with people today??? Have we really gone back to high school where the 'cool clique' hangs out together and everyone else is ignored, stared at or shunned??
Grow up people. We are not teenagers any more and the point of this particular meeting was for our children. And trust me I am not angry about not being included in the so called 'cool group'.
It saddens me that our society has come to this. People need to slow down and prioritize what they really value in life.
It disgusts me, because I was a former moderator of other groups that there are people out there in charge and they couldn't care less to welcome anyone!
I've decided that it isn't worth my time to go anymore. The evening would be better spent at home with my own family. That is where my priorities lie!
Last night I attended one of the worst ones yet. It was for a support group for parents. I have been to the meetings before and found them dry, not well planned and an opportunity for a select few to sit and 'gab' with each other and not even acknowledge any one else in the room, this included the moderator as well.
What is wrong with people today??? Have we really gone back to high school where the 'cool clique' hangs out together and everyone else is ignored, stared at or shunned??
Grow up people. We are not teenagers any more and the point of this particular meeting was for our children. And trust me I am not angry about not being included in the so called 'cool group'.
It saddens me that our society has come to this. People need to slow down and prioritize what they really value in life.
It disgusts me, because I was a former moderator of other groups that there are people out there in charge and they couldn't care less to welcome anyone!
I've decided that it isn't worth my time to go anymore. The evening would be better spent at home with my own family. That is where my priorities lie!
Friday, January 9, 2009
The Best Lie I was Ever Told
I think back fondly and laugh my head off at the best lie I was ever told.
We decided to get a puppy for our sons. Our older son was terrified of dogs and we hoped that this would help cure him. Our younger son was having some attachment issues after we adopted him so we thought he could love a puppy and then transfer that love to us.
We agreed on getting a golden doodle. Part golden retriever, part poodle. I thought poodles were a little to strange for us (at the time.) We found a breeder in our area and she had some golden doodles that were ready to be seen.
We drove with anticipation into the country to a little farm and ran the door bell. Inside her office were many puppies running around and jumping up on us. We were all a little overwhelmed.
My older son began playing with one of the doodles and soon his allergies kicked in. He began sneezing and his eyes got puffy. We couldn't get the doodle because of his allergies.
The breeder kindly told us that she had pure breed poodles also that were ready. If we wanted to come back the next day and see one of them we could. We decided to do that.
I couldn't believe we were going to see a poodle. I never considered having one for a pet. When we arrived the next day we met a beautiful poodle. He was caramel in colour and as soft as a teddy bear.
This is where the lie comes in. When we asked how big he would get we were told he would grow to be a minature poodle. About 20 pounds when grown. This was perfect for our family. Not too big, and not too small.
Half a year goes by and I take our poodle in for a vet checkup. He is tipping the scales at 35 pounds. The vet tells me that he is a standard poodle and will keep on growing.
WHen all is said and done and we now approach his second birthday he is 60 pounds!!!!!
This is the best lie someone ever told me because if I knew he would get that big I never would have bought him and I love him to pieces. He has brought so much joy to my life I couldn't be without him.
I laugh all the time about how we were tricked and how good it feels to be lied to for once!
We decided to get a puppy for our sons. Our older son was terrified of dogs and we hoped that this would help cure him. Our younger son was having some attachment issues after we adopted him so we thought he could love a puppy and then transfer that love to us.
We agreed on getting a golden doodle. Part golden retriever, part poodle. I thought poodles were a little to strange for us (at the time.) We found a breeder in our area and she had some golden doodles that were ready to be seen.
We drove with anticipation into the country to a little farm and ran the door bell. Inside her office were many puppies running around and jumping up on us. We were all a little overwhelmed.
My older son began playing with one of the doodles and soon his allergies kicked in. He began sneezing and his eyes got puffy. We couldn't get the doodle because of his allergies.
The breeder kindly told us that she had pure breed poodles also that were ready. If we wanted to come back the next day and see one of them we could. We decided to do that.
I couldn't believe we were going to see a poodle. I never considered having one for a pet. When we arrived the next day we met a beautiful poodle. He was caramel in colour and as soft as a teddy bear.
This is where the lie comes in. When we asked how big he would get we were told he would grow to be a minature poodle. About 20 pounds when grown. This was perfect for our family. Not too big, and not too small.
Half a year goes by and I take our poodle in for a vet checkup. He is tipping the scales at 35 pounds. The vet tells me that he is a standard poodle and will keep on growing.
WHen all is said and done and we now approach his second birthday he is 60 pounds!!!!!
This is the best lie someone ever told me because if I knew he would get that big I never would have bought him and I love him to pieces. He has brought so much joy to my life I couldn't be without him.
I laugh all the time about how we were tricked and how good it feels to be lied to for once!
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
Welcome 2009, good ridance to 2008!
To say that 2008 was an almost complete disaster is an understatement. I'm very happy to have it behind me and and anxiously and happily looking forward to 2009.
So here are the goals for 2009!
1. Lose 15-20 pounds for better health and more energy
2. Volunteer
3. Continue to read one book a week including classics
4. Pay off debt
5. Find a job that suits Justin's schedule and is rewarding
6. Teach Justin to read, and print sentences
7. Teach both boys to swim
8. Have more patience and cpmpassion for others
9. De-clutter the house
10. Win NANO09
11. Write a second book
12. Win script frenzy
13. Continue my blog
14. Edit first novel and give it a title
15. continue to set mini monthly goals
So there is the list! Let's see in one year's time what happens!!
To say that 2008 was an almost complete disaster is an understatement. I'm very happy to have it behind me and and anxiously and happily looking forward to 2009.
So here are the goals for 2009!
1. Lose 15-20 pounds for better health and more energy
2. Volunteer
3. Continue to read one book a week including classics
4. Pay off debt
5. Find a job that suits Justin's schedule and is rewarding
6. Teach Justin to read, and print sentences
7. Teach both boys to swim
8. Have more patience and cpmpassion for others
9. De-clutter the house
10. Win NANO09
11. Write a second book
12. Win script frenzy
13. Continue my blog
14. Edit first novel and give it a title
15. continue to set mini monthly goals
So there is the list! Let's see in one year's time what happens!!
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