New Jobs

I can't believe the expectations that others place on someone in a new job. I started a new job recently and was expected to know the whole routine, what to do and jump in with both feet right out of the gate. Luckily I have some experience that it wasn't too daunting however when you are somewhere new you have no idea what to expect and how to do what needs to be done. It also doesn't help to be told that you are late when you clearly were not.

People can only go in and do the best they can with what they have. To put more expectations on anyone is ridiculous. It is a learning lesson for everyone out there. If you are in charge, give someone the benefit of the doubt and show them around a bit. Don't expect them to jump in right away and don't give them the most difficult situation on their first day. Talk about setting someone up for failure. As for the employee, do your best and that's all you can do. Remember, it's not your problem, it's theirs!!!!

Fear

Many of us struggle with fears. Whether they be big or small, important or insignificant. Some fear things. My youngest son is deathly afraid of spider webs. Give him a spider to play with and he's good. But put a web near him and he is frozen, petrified.

My biggest fears are of the unknown, what other's think of me and being accepted. Some may say that these are petty things and I should just get over it.

Take the unknown. It's been my experience that when I'm faced with something unknown it's a million times worse to me in my hear before it happens then when it's over and I realize that it really wasn't a big deal.

As for what other's think of me, this only bothers me on a professional level. My youngest son is disabled and I can't take him anywhere without someone staring or offering me advice that isn't needed or wanted. That doesn't bother me because really it's their problem not mine. I know why he reacts the way he does and it's not anyone's business as to why he does anything. On a professional level I pride myself on doing a good job and I have letters of reference and many people who stand behind my work. However anytime I have to start somewhere new and these people don't know me it becomes a 'I'm a great person and I'll prove it to you' all over again. I really should embrace this as a challenge rather than a hinderance.

As for being accepted I have this insecurity because we often don't tell others how much we like them or how much we value having them in our lives. If we all had time to reflect we would see what is really important and who is important. Maybe then we would feel more accepted.

The bottom line is BE YOURSELF and don't take the baggage of others, personally!!!

Fear can be embraced if we chose to see it as an ally instead of a foe!

Basketballs

So...every morning I walk my kids up to the corner to catch the school bus. This morning my son is playing with another boy and they are tossing the basketball back and forth on the sidewalk. Sitting at the curb is a town bus waiting to pick up a group of high school kids. The bus leaves the corner and somehow the basketball goes under the bus.

I turn to the kid and say don't worry it will come out on the other side. WRONG! the ball get wedged under the bus and it bursts!! The sound from the explosion sounded like a gun going off.

The bus turns the corner and stops. the little boy goes up to the driver and tells him that is was his ball and not the tire that blew. The little boy comes back to the corner crying over his broken ball.

I never knew that a ball could burst like that. Luckily no one got hurt.

Bullies and Lessons Learned

This week I had a major flashback to when I was in highschool. I had a small group of friends that I didn't entirely trust and I kept to myself. High school for me was something to be endured for four years until I could get on with my real life.

I was persistently bullied in high school and I never told anyone. I was scared that if I told I would make the situation worse for myself. It was easier at that time to suffer in silence rather than bring it to light. Looking back I could not have been more wrong. As a young adolescent I wanted to not be noticed. I drown myself in books and watching tv every night rather than getting out there and seeing what life has to offer. When I finished school I could finally get on with my life. It wasn't until years later, I was educated and had a successful career, that I saw my bully in my local shopping mall. She definitely didn't look like she was doing too much with her life and I was able to move on and forget.

This week a phone call came from the school that my son was in the office and very upset. Someone was threatening and bullying him. If you knew my son you would cry your heart out in knowing that he would never hurt a fly, and has the kindest heart imaginable. It certainly broke my heart to hear about what had happened.

What I did feel though after the rage, anger and hurt was an overwhelming sense of pride. My son reported the bully immediately and the issue was sorted and resolved. For him this was an important step in becoming a great young man. He doesn't have to endure it.

Sometimes we suffer and at the time, in the moment, we have no idea why. Perhaps I was meant to suffer in silence so that when I became a mom I would know to teach my kids to speak up for themselves. I've also taught my kids to have an open dialogue with me about ANYTHING. I can't stress that enough to my kids.

No one has the right to put down anyone else for any reason!